I really like the idea of remotely stimulating my partner from across the room. I like the idea of making her wet without touching her. I like the idea of nobody, but me, knowing she is being aroused by a hidden toy in her panties. So, when I saw the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.0 I thought this could be a lot of fun. It’s basically a small vibrator meant to sit on the outside of a woman’s pussy with various vibration settings to stimulate the clitoris.
Although I’ve bought most of my sex toys online, my wife and I saw this at a local sex shop and immediately thought it could make for a memorable night of experimentation. A few weeks later when we actually had the chance to use it, we were both excited to have a little mischievous fun. Unfortunately, it became very clear, very quickly, that the fantasy of the OhMiBod Club Vibe does not live up to reality.
Club Vibe First Use
Here is the real conversation from the first and last time that my wife tried it.
Her: “It’s like having an old computer mouse in your pants.”
Me: “Is it right-side up? The little bump goes on your clit.”
Her: “I know where the bump goes, this thing is huge. If I wore this with leggings, people would think I had a dick. I couldn’t even sit and cross my legs with this thing.”
Me: “Well, let’s try to turn it on.” (I turned it on the lowest setting)
Her: “That’s loud but not arousing… turn it up.” (I turned it all the way up, level 5)
Her: “Wow, that’s really loud and it buzzes my inner legs more than my pussy.”
Me: “Does it feel good at all?”
Her: “Well, it is a vibrator on my pussy but I think my electric toothbrush would get me off faster.” (I laughed really loud)
Me: “Ok… how about the dance setting?” (I switched to the dance setting where the microphone on the remote picks up sound and creates vibrations based on what it hears, basically the base/thump of the music. I put it on the most sensitive setting and turned up the Bose in the bedroom.)
Her: “It’s like vibrating fits and starts. Ridiculous. And it’s so loud. If I wasn’t front stage at a concert I’d be continuously petrified that it would start vibrating and everyone would know right away. I’m not wearing this anywhere.”
Me: “You sure?”
Her: “So sure.”
So that’s what we got for just under a hundred bucks. Granted, I laughed pretty hard but probably only $20 bucks worth.
Comic Interlude: Even after that, I still wanted to give this couples sex toy a chance and I thought that I might be able to get another $20 laugh if I tried it on myself and took a walk around the block. After securing it in place with a loose-fitting ball strap and my tightest underwear, I ventured onto the street. With the vibrator remote in my coat pocket, I walked down the street testing the vibration settings. As I turned the first corner, with a high pitched buzz on my balls, I see a woman walking toward me with her dog. My heart jumps in my throat, I fumble with the remote but the buzzing continues. Now I’m panicking and the only thing I can do is spin around and walk back around the corner and straight home, thinking the entire way how scared I would be that this thing could suddenly start vibrating if I went into any public space. Experiment over.
Club Vibe Dream
Club Vibe Reality
A sex toy costing nearly $100 sets expectations that it will deliver on its promises but the sexiest thing about the Club Vibe 2.0 is the picture on the box.
- Recommendation: Do not purchase. This toy is not worth the price.
- Key Attributes: Remote controlled manual vibration modes and Club mode (vibrations based off sound heard by a microphone on the remote)
- Value: (Our perception of price vs. effectiveness): 0 stars
- Pros: The concept of remotely stimulating your partner or yourself in public without others knowing is a turn-on for many.
- Cons: Too bulky and rigid. Hard material. Uncomfortable for the user. Poor vibration.
- Alternatives: TBD… love this concept so we will be on the hunt for something we can recommend for this type of outside the bedroom play (See options below)
OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.0 Specs
- Vibe Measurements: 3 3/4″ long, 1 3/4″ wide, 0.5″ thin Length: 3.9″
- Vibe Weight: 2.3 oz (65g)
- Materials: ABS Plastic, PU Coating
- Power Source: Batteries for remote, Rechargeable vibrator with USB Recharge
- Remote Range: 15 to 20 feet
- Color: Black, Pink
- Accessories: Includes one size fits all black lace thong
- Compatibility: Not compatible with OhMiBod Remote App
- Charging Time: 2-3hours
- Play Time: Up to 2 hours based on usage
OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.0 Features
- Wireless remote control
- Manual mode (5 vibration modes)
- Club Mode (5 levels of intensity)
- Build-in microphone on remote causes initiates vibrations in Club mode
Secret Couples Sex Toy Alternatives
We will be exploring a few of these in the near future but if you want to try something out in public, I would try one of these lower cost and reportedly more discrete options from Eden Fantasys. My assumption is that the insertable versions of these couples play toys would be the most discrete (quite) but I can’t share personal experience on the toys below just yet. Still, they look like fun.
Three remote vibrating functions controlled via remote control. Reported to be quite yet more intense.
10 remote controlled vibrating functions, each with three intensity levels. Average noise rating.
Check out the Womanizer Pro40 Clitoral Stimulator